Monday, February 11, 2013

So, Wait...Marriages That AREN'T Patriarchal Are Still Stable and Happy?

No, I'm not going to pick these lists apart. I'll share them for your enjoyment.

25 Ways To Communicate Respect, For Wives

25 Ways To Show Your Wife You Love Her, for Husbands

Because wives don't deserve or need to feel respect, I guess. These lists have some great people skills mixed in with some eye rolling bullshit, but that's not what I want to address.

I now get why it is so damn important that conservative Christians portray same sex families as damaging to society or tearing families apart.

One of the keystones of conservative religions, and not just Christian ones, is the concept of one person being the head of the family, and that person being the man. This is taught as the best family dynamic with the most happiness and ability to last, and the greatest environment for raising children.

From the wife's list:
Follow His Lead
"If you want your husband to lead, you must be willing to follow. Neither a body nor a family can function well with two heads. Learn to defer to your husband’s wishes and let final decisions rest with him. (Ephesians 5:22-24)"

From the husband's list:
Practice Servant-Leadership
All organizations have a hierarchy. It’s impossible to function without one, but being a leader isn’t the same as being a dictator. The best role model is Jesus Christ, not Joseph Stalin. Jesus washed his disciples feet and then died on their behalf. It’s a challenge to exercise authority while maintaining a spirit of humility, but that is what being a godly leader entails. (Matthew 20:28, Philippians 2:1-8; Mark 9:35)

And herein lies the greatest falsehood of these religions: This simply is not true.

Marriage and family IS NOT a hierarchy, not even a "loving" one. Those scriptures were included in the Bible because they were VOTED in, and many Christian denominations DO NOT interpret them the same way. Marriages and families DO NOT need one leader.

I came out of the ocean because you need to stop

How do I know this?

I know this because lesbian couples, gay couples, polyamorous families, and heterosexual families are functioning beautifully WITHOUT patriarchy. There's no "man" in lesbian families, and no "woman" in gay families, and they "function well with two heads."

PHOTO: Left to right; Ian Ferguson, Eamon, Jaiya Ma and Jon Hanauer pictured at home, Nov. 22, 2011 in Topanga, California.

Jaiya, her two husbands, and their son

While there are so many blogs out there by wives giving you suggestions for how to "divorce proof" your marriage by wearing make up even when you're just at home, always having a spotless house, never expressing basic human emotions outside of happiness, and deferring to your husband for all major decision making, I want to add my voice to the increasing number of them that want you to know that you can have a functioning home and marriage without buying the Stepford Wife model.

You can be egalitarian and be deliriously happy.