Sometime I think I really am just tricking everyone, that I'm a giant fraud. Today, when someone became upset with me for being unreasonably anxious over something perfectly reasonable, it shattered me. It reminded me that in the end, no one knows unless they've walked across the coals, themselves. They can try, but they'll never know. That's what makes it so hard. You can't really see depression or anxiety, and unless you have compulsive behaviors, no one really sees the OCD. Just you.
To other mamas like me, trying to keep their shit together while being good partners and mothers, trying to keep the crazy in enough that it doesn't spill over into your children's lives more than necessary, trying to keep all the pieces together with the thinnest string, I want you to know, I am in it, and I get it.